An uproar arose in the early 1990s when bikini-clad hot dog vendors began appearing on roadsides in the bay area. The thonged temptresses were accused of causing distractions and creating a commotion as well as being an “attack on moral decency.” Their dog carts had names like “Perfect 10 Wiener Wagon” and “Hala’s Wild Wieners”. Some folks would stop just to take pictures, while others bought hot dogs. Some passersby would cat-call and whistle, and some yelled at the vendors to put more clothes on. Media outlets statewide had a field day. The competition for territory between vendors became fierce.

So much so that following an altercation between two hot dog hotties, radio station Q105 sponsored a throwdown at the Yucatan Liquor Stand, calling it “Weinermania I.”, where vendors went cheek to cheek in a mud wrestling pit in front of 200 spectators. After two 2-minute rounds, neither mud queen was able to get a clean pin. Turns out it was more of a friendly fight, and the women posed for pictures in front of their carts afterward.

Conservative lawmakers didn’t like such roadside obscenity and began passing legislation that outlawed public exposure of one’s “anal cleft” (because butt crack sounds ridiculous in law books). Subsequently, Pinellas County started citing vendors. The booty-bearing frank selling trend soon subsided, as trends do, and we can now rejoice in the fact that we are free from such intense threats to our moral decency. I’ll take mine with mustard and relish, please.

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